Common Mistakes to Avoid When Hiring a Handyman
Ladies and gentlemen, the quest to find the perfect handyman is like looking for a unicorn in a herd of very inept horses. If you've ever hired a handyman that turned your minor plumbing issue into an indoor pool, then you know exactly what I mean. So, before you send out the SOS flare and bring a stranger into your home to potentially knock down a wall instead of fixing a shelf, here are some hilarious yet very real mistakes to avoid.
1. Judging by the Tape Measure on their Belt
You spot him. He's got a tape measure hanging proudly from his belt. Ah, yes, a sign of true craftsmanship. Wrong! Just because he's got the gear doesn't mean he knows how to use it. I have gym shoes in my closet, but that doesn't make me an Olympic athlete. So, look past the tape measure and do some actual vetting.
2. Believing "I've been doing this since I was a kid"
Great, he’s been hammering nails since he was five. My toddler tries to feed herself with a fork, but I wouldn't trust her to cater a dinner party. Experience doesn't mean expertise. Always ask for references or even pictures of past work. Trust, but verify.
3. Forgetting to Ask, “Is that in Dog Years?”
When your potential handyman claims, "I've been in the business for 10 years," do clarify if that's in dog years. There’s a huge difference between 10 human years of experience and a mere year and a bit. Wouldn’t you rather have a handyman who has seen and repaired more broken toilets than just “that one time at band camp”?
4. Thinking More Tools = More Talent
It's tempting to be swayed by the number of tools they bring to the job. But let's remember: the ancient Egyptians built the pyramids with fewer tools than Bob has in his truck. And if Bob can't fix your doorbell, perhaps he's overcompensated somewhere else. A truly skilled handyman can work magic with a basic set of tools. And no, a rubber chicken is not considered a standard tool, even if it does break the tension.
5. Being Wooed by a Flashy Business Card
Shiny, holographic business cards with a catchy slogan like "Nailed It!" are fun. But let's not get dazzled by the bling. What’s printed on a glossy card isn’t nearly as important as what’s backed up by a solid reputation. Always, and I mean ALWAYS, check reviews and ask friends for recommendations. Yelp is there for a reason, folks!
6. Failing to Define "Handy"
Sure, he claims he's handy. But what does that even mean? Some believe being able to change a light bulb without electrocuting themselves qualifies them as a professional. Define the job you need done clearly. If your handyman's eyes glaze over when you explain the project, it might be a sign to keep looking.
7. Not Considering the “After-Service”
Always inquire about the post-repair scenario. Some handymen have the tendency to vanish into the abyss once the job is done, making them harder to track down than Bigfoot when something goes wrong. A good handyman will offer after-service, ensuring that if a problem arises, they’ll be there faster than you can say, "Did you even fix it?"
In conclusion, hiring a handyman shouldn’t be like playing Russian roulette with your home repairs. Remember these mistakes, have a good chuckle, and then get serious about finding the right person for the job. With a bit of humor and due diligence, you'll have a handyman who truly nails it (and not just on their business card)!







