Essential Tools Every Handyman Should Have (Or Risk Being Called Not-So-Handy)
Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away (just kidding, it was my garage), I embarked on a DIY project that had me channeling my inner handyman. Unfortunately, my inner handyman was more like a toddler with a toy hammer. The aftermath? A wonky shelf, an annoyed cat, and a newfound respect for handymen and their tools.
Let’s face it: no one wants to be the guy or gal who, when faced with a simple leaky faucet, manages to flood the entire bathroom instead. I may or may not be speaking from experience. So, to save you from a drenched bathroom (or any other disaster), here’s a list of essential tools every handyman should have.
1. The Hammer of Glory:
Okay, it's just called a hammer, but let's jazz things up, shall we? There’s a reason this tool is iconic. From hanging pictures to building a treehouse for your kiddo (or yourself, no judgment), a hammer is indispensable. Word of advice: get one with a comfortable grip. That time I accidentally smashed my thumb? Yeah, a good grip could’ve helped.
2. Screwdrivers (Not the Drink):
I remember asking a friend if he had a screwdriver, and he handed me an orange cocktail. Cute, but not helpful. You’ll want both flathead and Phillips head versions. And remember, “righty tighty, lefty loosey.” Unless you're me, then it’s “righty, righty, why-isn’t-this-working?”
3. The Almighty Tape Measure:
Because “eyeballing it” can result in a DIY disaster. Take it from the guy who once made a table so lopsided it could have been modern art.
4. Pliers:
For when things get... gripping. These bad boys will hold onto anything tighter than your grandma holding onto her secret cookie recipe.
5. A Level:
No one likes a crooked shelf. Or a crooked anything, really. Unless you’re aiming for a Salvador Dali look in your living room, get one of these.
6. A Power Drill:
I used to think these were only for the big-league DIYers. Then I tried making a hole with a screwdriver. Forty minutes later, I was at the store buying a drill. Trust me; you need one.
7. The Wrench (or Spanner if you're feeling British):
Your sink will thank you, and you'll thank yourself when you don’t need to call a plumber for that minor fix.
8. Ladders:
Why? Because gravity. And because that lightbulb won’t change itself. Although, if you discover a self-changing lightbulb, let me know!
9. Utility Knife:
Or as I like to call it, the “why-is-this-packaging-so-difficult” solver.
10. Safety Gear:
While not exactly a tool, nothing screams “professional” like safety goggles. Well, that and not ending up in the ER because you got sawdust in your eye.
And a Bonus Tool: A Handyman’s Journal.
Yes, it sounds silly, but hear me out. Every time I dive into a DIY project, something unexpected happens. Maybe the wood is harder than anticipated, or a screw is missing, or the instructions are written in what can only be described as hieroglyphics. Keeping a journal of these hiccups and how you solved them can be a game-changer for future projects.
In the end, being a handyman is more than just possessing a few tools. It’s about having the right tools and knowing how (and how not) to use them. It’s a journey, with its fair share of misadventures (and a flooded bathroom or two). But with this toolkit, you’re one step closer to being the hero your home deserves.
Remember: Every great handyman has a story, usually starting with, “Remember that time I didn’t have the right tool?” Don’t be that handyman. Be prepared, be equipped, and maybe, just maybe, be a little bit handy.







